23 July 2017 @ 01:49 pm
yesterday's meeting  
went to an open-house for "people with bad mental states" (depressed people, people with anxiety, or even worse problems) where everyone's going to create a sort of newspaper about stuff to do with that... there were various points brought up like, you can even write about how to save money because most people who have problems are really poor. the people there were super nice and friendly, not scary one bit so that was good.

there was a lady there (i thought she must be in her late 20's, early 30's?) with an afro and everything and it turns out she's a russian who's been living in sweden since like 1993, but her accent was waaay worse than mine o.0 and she barely talked (seemed like she was really nervous). she's been here almost longer than i've been alive!! i know these people exist but i'm still shocked when i meet them. after a while, don't you get really tired of not being able to express yourself as fluently as a native? i mean, i can see messing around for 5 or even 10 years depending on what your life situation is like (ex. someone like me, who doesn't have a job and doesn't take classes in swedish, should be granted a longer "grace period" versus someone who jumped into a swedish work/school environment as soon as they came here for example) but after a point don't you just get so pissed off at yourself that you sit down and actually work to improve...?

i'm really at the point where, IF i thought i could actually get hired in sweden, IF i wasn't dead-set on and already working towards going to japan as soon as my degree is over with (or even before then), then i'd actually be working on my swedish even though i don't care about the language. but since i'm good enough for life necessities, can't get a job and don't plan on staying here it's like, what does it matter if i speak a little more fluently, it's not going to help me anyway....